The Store of Self-Love
Is loving oneself a perversion, a sickness, or where all love begins? Freud takes a clinical term and makes it a stage every person passes through.
Before it loves anyone, Freud argues, the infant loves itself, and the love it later sends out to others is drawn from that store and can flow back. The sick and the hypochondriac pull their interest home to an aching body; someone in love empties the self into the beloved. People choose love objects either on the model of the parent who cared for them or on the model of themselves, what they were or want to be. Parents' devotion to a child is their old self-love revived.
- narcissism
- libido
- ego libido
- object love
- love
- object choice
- hypochondria
- psychosis
- schizophrenia
- body
Enter a dialogue
- A poet with toothache, says Wilhelm Busch, keeps his whole soul in the hollow of one tooth. What does pain do to a person's love for the world?
- Someone deeply in love feels smaller and poorer the more they adore the other. Why should loving another drain a person's sense of their own worth?
- Parents treat their baby as the centre of creation, "His Majesty the Baby". Why do you call their touching love their own self-love reborn?
- Small children, cats and great beasts of prey charm us by not caring about us. Why is such self-sufficiency so attractive to those who gave theirs up?
- Narcissism was the name of a perversion, loving one's own body as a lover's. Why do you insist that every child passes through it?